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How to be a Badass

·1376 words·7 mins

What I’ve learned from You are a Badass

I’ve felt like there are moments where I want to start on something that I want to do, but something stops me from taking the first step. In my search for what that is, I’ve found Jen Sincero’s You are a Badass (affiliate link). Here is what I’ve learned.

You aren’t good enough

Negative thoughts about yourself are holding you back from being the person you want to be.

Yep, you heard me say it. I know that probably triggered something in you. Of course, I don’t believe that. We all have negative thoughts that occur in our subconscious mind that prevent us from doing what we really want in life. Part of it, I believe, is that we aren’t really aware of what we really want. Therefore, when something in life happens that forces us to make a decision, we end up choosing what feels right in the moment. Sometimes we get lucky, sometimes we don’t. This kind of decision making leaves us with an odd feeling. We get the sense that life is haphazard and leaving us unfulfilled wanting more. There is a lack of intentionality but we really don’t notice it.

You are good enough

Love yourself, don’t buy what others think of you

Be kind to yourself. Understand that life is a long journey that you wont get there easily. There will be hardships that you will experience and folks around you will fail to understand. They may even, in trying to help (in their own way), discourage you from doing something. Take care of yourself.

Can you ride my wave?

There is a limitless power, you just have to tap into it.

The frequency analogy in the book does not really hit it for me. Perhaps because I come from a technical background, and resonant frequencies do have a particular meaning in my scope of understanding. Frequencies are no joke. If amplified to a threshold it can make a bridge collapse. When represented in a 2d plane frequencies can be seen as waves on a chart. They can describe energy.

My interpretation of what the author was saying is this: When we put ourselves out there, get involve in the world, live a life of intentionality you will construct a bias for the things that will help you in your journey. Intentionality comes with a purpose and a clear and concrete way of getting to where you need to go. Having a specific frequency and being aware of it is a concrete way of making being aware of yourself and how you are interacting with the world. Therefore, if you have a filter for things that could help you in your journey, you are putting off a energy (a frequency) and signaling to others that you are heading towards a certain direction.

Direction is attractive, as you move in your journey, others will go along with you. Some for their own gain, some for their own interests. That movement in your journey will cause you to coalesce into a community heading towards a general direction. You can then help each other in your journey. The limitless power is the power of community. So be a rising tide and make waves, you’ll find others doing the same, and go as far as you can with each other

The truth about learning and lying

Embrace being a novice

No one has a fool proof plan, but everyone has a plan that got them to where they are. When something does not go according to plan, that’s ok. We make other plans, we move forward, we learn, because we are all learners in the end, for the ultimate lesson of dieing well.

Your thoughts are powerful, so make them work for you.

Once you figure out what you want, you can have a plan but it may not take you where you thought you want to go. You cannot expect the same certainty as you would from the directions you would get from Google Maps.

Be open in how to get there.

You’ve heard it said Faking it till you make it. This can be interpreted incorrectly here. Where one can just pretend to “be” the that by dressing up, putting up a stance, and telling themselves that they are. Believe me it does not work. Instead I think, Fake it till you make it means you can adopt this identity, much like dawning a mask, and then looking at yourself in the mirror. You will see two things: the person you want to be and the person you currently are. Questions to ask:

  • If you are wondering what to do: ask yourself, What would my badass self do in this situation?.
  • If you don’t know what you should do. Here you can look for examples of similar people. Ask yourself: How did they get to where they are today?.
  • If you realize, that you don’t have the right skills to be doing what your badass self will do. That is ok. You see a gap, now it’s time to figure out how to bridge it. Ask: How can I get there? Who can help me?

Faking it, does not mean you lie to yourself.

It all comes from a point of self awareness. Be honest with yourself as you see your current self and the identity that you want to take on. This will reveal to you the work that you need to do to get there. Don’t have the right information? Go out and find get more information. Do this until all that is left are the habits you need to pick up, or drop, and tasks you need to do. Until all that is left are the hard steps it takes to get to where you want to be.

Do the work

Now there is only the work. Get after it!

This will be a difficult journey. You will be out of your comfort zone. You will want to procrastinate, find excuses and hesitate. Just do the work. If something is causing you to hesitate, ask yourself: Would this be hard to undo?. If the answer is No. Then just do it. If the answer is Yes then take a step back. Breakdown the action into smaller steps, take those smaller steps.

In your journey you will encounter situations when you don’t know how to get to somewhere. If you don’t know where to go, find some examples, in books or in other forms, or in your network of how you can get to where you are. You don’t have to follow their path, you only need to see what components of their story can useful to you.

Take only what is useful

Eliminate aspects of your life that is not add benefit

There will be things in your life that will be neutral ot your goals, and things that get in the way of your goals. Of course, there are obligations that you have to do, but there are things that you can eliminate and reduce the impact. Intentionality can help by only allowing the essential and eliminating the rest and optimizing for your goals.

For example: You may be a parent and also have a dream about starting a business. You may eliminate social media since it is a distraction. One of your other obligations is to care your child. You obviously won’t eliminate this obligation, but it does require your time and attention. Sometimes you may feel that the business needs and your child’s needs are at odds, or one may pull you off the other. Reducing impact here is hiring a babysitter to get things done for the business. On the other hand, you can also set expectations with your customers/clients that you won’t be available at certain times of day.

Go Be A Badass

These were my takeaways from reading Jen Sincero’s You are a Badass (affiliate link). In short, it all comes from a point of self awareness, where you see yourself, and where you want to go. The journey is difficult. Any change is. However, it is certainly achievable. Once you know what you want, Go get it.